Clinton Combats Cancer For Cash at the South East BJJ Open

The Fat Flamingo finally got his feathers ruffled at the South East BJJ Open in aid of Cancer Research UK

At last, the day finally came for me to live up to my promise and fight in a pink gi, sport a matching resplendent 'plumage' and smash the competition. The result? Well... two out of three ain't so bad...

It was back in April just before the British BJJ Open that a distinctly less fat 'Flamingo' concocted this little plot to raise money for charity. I was at Lee Catling's BJJ class at BKK Fighters Gym in Colchester, and we were sat in a circle puffing and panting after some specific sparring. As he usually does at this point of the lesson, Lee invited questions from the students. Being the random and impulsive chap that I am, I asked the non sequitur "What's the rules on a bloke wearing a pink gi in competition?" After some nervous laughter, he made it plain that it's a definite no-no, but if it was in aid of charity, maybe Braulio Estima (who organises the British BJJ Open) would let me wear it. It was only a week before the British Open, so there was far too little notice to promote it at that point, but it certainly got the wheels turning in my head...

And so, the Fat Flamingo was born. Why a flamingo? Well, because they're pink, dummy. And why a FAT flamingo? I think that's pretty self-explanatory... But of course, the question remains, why the colour pink?

Pink is the colour usually associated with cancer charities (especially breast cancer charities) and sadly many in my family have been afflicted with this horrific disease over the years. I have lost two uncles to cancer, a close friend of my mother died of throat cancer last year, my father-in-law died of cancer in February, and now my uncle Jack and aunt Lily (my mother's brother and sister) are courageously fighting this disease these past few months. It has had an enormous effect on my family, and I know that they are only one of many that are suffering at the hands of one of humanity's biggest killers.

And so I felt Cancer Research UK to be the most appropriate charity for whom to raise money. And over these past few months, with so many having contributed so generously, we surpassed my initial target of raising £500, and at my last count we have raised £575. I'm thrilled to bits and incredibly grateful, and truly proud of all the family and friends inside and outside of the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu community (and those of you I haven't even met!) who contributed. Thank you all.

All that remained to be done was for this dumpy little chap to hit the mats in Rayleigh last weekend and smash the competition. Unfortunately, things didn't quite pan out that way...

I'm a very different beast today than I was when I first formulated the idea to literally fight for cancer research, 'beast' being the operative word. What with a sudden increase in work commitments and therefore a lack of spare time, my training regimen suffered, as did my bathroom scales. My weight ballooned from a respectable 80kg (in my gi, I might add) to a flab-tastic NINETY-FOUR KILOGRAMS in the space of 6 months. All in all, I think that alone is an impressive performance. But such an expansion in girth doesn't make for an efficient athlete. It just makes for an undersized competitor, fighting monsters of muscle WAY bigger than he. So when it came to registering for this competition, I had the 'opportunity' of fighting at HEAVYWEIGHT.

And so, as I stepped on the mats for my first fight and stared into the eyes of my opponent, I suddenly felt very small. This gentlemen seemed twice as big as the guys in my normal weight category, and also represented team Carlson Gracie, known for their aggression on the tatami.

The referee called "Fight!" and we locked horns. And for pretty much the next 5 minutes, I felt like I was surviving rather than competing. We took our grips on each other's gis, and swung each other around the mats hoping for a takedown. It was clear this chap was a lot stronger than me, so I decided to pull guard and get a 50/50. BIG mistake. The last thing one needs in this kind of match is a guy that big on top of them. From this point, I spent the next four and a half minutes protecting my arms, guarding my my neck, and vowing never to fight at heavyweight again, all whilst my internal dialogue screamed "DO NOT GET SUBMITTED! DON'T YOU DARE TAP!"

Mercifully, the ref called time and calm was restored, with my opponent's arm raised and my delusions of possible triumph shattered.

Upon leaving the mats, my corner man William Wayland gave me an accurate summation of this epic battle: "That wasn't very good, was it?"

I had no sooner caught my breath, when one of the officials informed me I was about to fight again. Only this time, my opponent was even bigger.

It would be inaccurate to say we stood eye-to-eye before our fight, as this kiwi chap was about 6'3" (whereas I am a humble 5'9"), but he seemed genial enough for a man about to try and rip my head from my shoulders. We slapped hands and took our grips. Once again, two competitors swung each other around the mats, looking to trip the other and land on top in a dominant position. And once again, I pulled guard, hoping to gain the advantage. But this clearly wasn't my day and I once more had a giant on top of me.

He was going for cross-collar chokes like nobody's business once he had the mount, but somehow I ended up on top in his guard and endeavoured to make him as uncomfortable as I could. This clearly prompted him to fight to get my back and attempt a rear naked choke. Which he fought for until the end of the match. All I can recall is referee Lee Catling's concerned face as he looked prepared to stop the fight, but thankfully I've had more uncomfortable razor-burn than this RNC and made sure to keep giving Lee the thumbs-up in case he thought I was going to pass out. I held on until the end, and time was called.

Leaving the mats feeling somewhat dejected and disappointed, I also felt more motivated than I had in a long, long time. From that point onwards, I have been looking to the future and to the other tournaments to come. I know I'm better than that performance, I have great teammates and coaches and now I have a greater desire to perform to my utmost in competition. Onwards and upwards!

All in all, it was a great day. Lee Catling did a spectacular job organising the event and I look forward to the next one. My teammates William Wayland, Brian Speirs and Tim Clifton, despite not medalling, put on a great show for the spectators and should be proud of themselves. And it was nice to see the Mill Hill boys there and their competitors do so well.

After the finals of the individual belt and weight categories had been brought to their exciting conclusion, the competitors were invited to partake in the 'Absolutes,' an invitation I declined. My six year old son was puzzled by my sudden lack of enthusiasm, and said "Are you not doing it because you don't want to get beat up again?" Even with barely half a dozen years to his life, that boy is sharp as a tack...

Speak soon, folks...

Fat Flamingo

My Own Little Commentary...

Today's post is a little off topic - in fact it's FAR removed from the usual subject matter of this blog. But I felt compelled to write something about the events of the past crazy few days here in the UK.

Speaking from the point of view of a builder, in the past 10 years I have become friends with a lot of Eastern and Central European economic migrants. Many of them came from war torn countries with not a penny to their name when they arrived on British shores. These same people have worked incredibly hard over the years on construction sites in the pouring rain and driving snow and working insanely long hours, and they have managed to pay for their own homes and cars and are living a life they would have never attained in Albania, Kosovo, Romania, Ukraine etc. Yes, times are hard at the moment, but it is still a land of great opportunity, which is why people still travel from all over Europe, Asia, Africa et al to make make a better life for themselves. And they achieve it too.

But these rioters are HOMEGROWN 'talent.' They have failed to make the grade and blame the government, or an antagonistic society, or an overbearing police force. I just find it very hard to sympathise with these people, when so many others from developing countries have managed to do so well. There is a sizable percentage of Britons born and raised here who have been brought-up from infancy with ready-made excuses for their shortcomings, as opposed to encouragement and the reality that it is within their power to improve their lot in this life. In the latter, the government has absolutely failed. But there's a cycle of poor parenting that will perpetuate this outlook too. But none of the above justifies any of this mayhem.

Summary: There needs to be a major cultural upheaval, ideologies need to adapt. But riots won't help this, they will just re-enforce the fact that our society is broken. And said re-enforcement in this context is about as effective as giving the wrong answer to a question, but in capital letters - the answer is still wrong.

Fat Flamingo

The Downside of Reality...

Just a quick post for all you beautiful mo fos out there to let you know I'm still alive.

Well, it's been about six weeks since I last regaled you with stories of jiu jitsu passion and prowess, but unfortunately my alternate identity has taken precedence over my Fat Flamingo alter ego. I've been working extraordinarily long hours (leaving the house at 5am and not getting home until 8pm), so not only has this blog suffered, but my training has been non-existent and my health has deteriorated, ie. I'm a fat fucker (no news there).

Also, I've been trying to convince the local university to accept me for a degree course (I know, they'd be mad to deny me admittance), so I've been using any little spare time I've had to swot up on my maths for an informal test, just so they might ascertain how dumb this young upstart actually is. Turns out, I'm less dumb than we all thought.

So now that the sob story and excuses are out of the way, I have EIGHT WEEKS to lose TEN KILOS (I fight at 82.3kg/middleweight) and get passably skilled at BJJ again, all in time for the South East BJJ Open in Rayleigh, Essex on 2nd October. And my main motivation is that I'm competing in aid of Cancer Research UK through my own little charity Clinton Combats Cancer For Cash, where donations can be made though my Just Giving page. All money donated is perfectly safe, can be paid through PayPal and goes entirely to charity.

But what do you get out of this little transaction? Well, besides doing something AWESOME that will help progress cancer research, you'll also get to see me fight in a hot pink gi and matching pink mohawk. And you can quite possibly relish in the satisfaction of watching me get my arse handed to be by more accomplished and talented jiu jitsu practitioners. Or I might surprise everyone and do pretty well. Well, stranger things have happened...

Anyway, until next time, biatches

Fat Flamingo

Nick Brooks and David Onuma Throw Down at BKK Fighters for Clinton Combats Cancer For Cash

As I write this, I'm sat at the PC on a Friday night with my sweat soaked t shirt stuck to my exhausted body, and I feel GREAT. I'm not long home from the Nick Brooks and David Onuma seminar at BKK Fighters in Colchester, Essex,  in aid of Clinton Combats Cancer For Cash and Cancer Research UK I'm very pleased to say that we managed to raise £180, and everyone walked away from this special class with a massive grin after grappling with two very awesome teachers (and a very talented brown belt in Chris Hearn!)

The techniques demonstrated were pretty much whatever we wanted to learn. Nick asked the class if there was anything in particular we wanted to work on, so after one of the group volunteered half guard escapes, that's exactly what Nick showed us.

I won't go into great detail as to the escapes, as written word doesn't adequately convey the intricacies of the techniques and may even lead to confusion, but rest assured, they were all effective. One day I'll sort out a video camera to film some techniques for this blog, so until then, please be patient with me. Aww, thanks for being so understanding - mwah! xx

Anyway... The gist of what Nick demonstrated was basically the use of misdirection, much like a Las Vegas illusionist (he is a wizard on the mats, after all.)  Whilst on top in one's opponent's half guard (yes, I used the pronoun 'one,' as one should in these blogs), the trick is to apply a cross choke so that one's partner panics and concentrates on defending the choke. During which time, you, my sneaky friend, will be snaking your trapped leg out of their guard to pass and take the mount, the side, or whatever takes your fancy and as the specific situation allows. Yes, both simple AND clever. I won't go into the specifics, you can google that shit (so to speak), but it is the concept of misdirection that is important.

Nick then handed the class over to David, who also asked the class what troubled us on the mats. This time, the super-human William Wayland queried how one (I'm really getting self-conscious about using that word) might go on to finish one's (bloody hell...) opponent after taking side control. David, being the generous and talented man that he is, imparted a nifty little trick that not only restricts your opponent's movement, but can make them very uncomfortable as well. It involves using the arm that is wrapped under your partner's head grabbing the material of their gi in the armpit/latissimus dorsi area, pulling on it tightly as digging your shoulder of that same arm into their neck. And hard. I guarantee that if they don't tap (which is possible), they certainly won't like it in the slightest. Then, with your free hand and whilst keeping your weight on them heavy, start pulling out the lapel of their gi on the same side of the armpit your grabbing, then pass this under said armpit to your other hand. then pull tight on this, so as to effectively restrict their movement and help prevent their going for an underhook to escape. The important thing here is to take your time when freeing their lapel before passing it to your other hand. You want to make sure there is now slack WHATSOEVER. In fact, it's so important that I felt compelled to CAPITALIZE  the last word in that sentence.

Now, when you have pulled tight on that lapel, pull HARD and up onto your thigh (damn, some photos would really help here). From this point, David showed us two submissions we could go for: a kind of clock choke, and an armbar. And boy, do they work. But in the interest of time (ie. 1. I have no photos, 2. you know you have too short an attention span to read paragraphs of explanations, and 3. I'm just too lazy), I shall leave it to the reader's discretion whether they should contact David Onuma himself for a private lesson on these specific techniques.

After this, Nick left it too us whether we wanted to learn some more techniques or if we would rather spar. The decision was unanimous: "LET'S ROLL!"

Nick graciously had a roll with me, which was a great experience. It's always a pleasure to grapple with someone of his calibre, because you know that what your opponent is doing is pure jiu jitsu and not brute strength. And being that Nick is so tall and thin, he has to rely on extremely tight technique so as to beat larger opponents. He was very generous with his advice the first time he tapped me, explaining that I was far too tense and so would be less receptive to his (or any other opponent's) movement. The second time we rolled, I made a concerted effort to relax (which in itself is a contradiction, ie. relax/effort), but we did notice a marked improvement upon the previous bout.

We all swapped partners a few times until time was getting on and we called it a night. We huddled together for a group photo and gave Nick and David a well deserved applause for a great seminar.

After getting changed, I counted up the donations for the night and I'm happy to say we raised £180, taking the current total of Clinton Combats Cancer For Cash to £520, surpassing my initial target of £500! I'm thrilled to bits, but there is still 4 months to go until I fight in my pink gi and matching mohawk at the South East BJJ Open in October, so I still hope to raise loads more between now and then.

So I'd like to say a massive thank you to Nick Brooks, David 'Malandro' Onuma, Chris Hearn, BKK Fighters, and of course to everyone that came and donated. I'm pleased as punch, and strongly recommend that you check out Nick classes at the Mill Hill BJJ Academy, and David classes, a timetable of which can be found at http://combinedfightingsystems.blogspot.com/.

If you do go to one of their classes, or even see them on the street, please buy them a bottle (or more) of Desperados. Damn it, they deserve it.

Ciao for now

Fat Flamingo

UPDATE TO NICK BROOKS SEMINAR ON 24TH JUNE IN AID OF CLINTON COMBATS CANCER FOR CASH!!!!

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!

Nick Brooks just informed me that black belt David 'Malandro' Onuma will ALSO be giving his time for free and teaching with him at the seminar. Damn it, you folks are SOOO lucky - all this just for the price of a donation! You can't do much better than that ;)

David Onuma is a black belt under Ricardo Viera, 3 x European Champion (1 at purple belt and 2 at brown) and I'm thrilled to have him on board - as should you!

I'm really looking forward to seeing you all on the mats on 24th June!

The Fat Flamingo

NICK BROOKS SEMINAR ON 24TH JUNE IN AID OF CLINTON COMBATS CANCER FOR CASH!

Roger Gracie black belt and all-round awesome jedi-like person Nick Brooks will be doing a free (yes, FREE) Brazilian Jiu Jitsu seminar at BKK Fighters on Friday the 24th June at 7:30pm in aid of my charity, Clinton Combats Cancer For Cash. All we ask is that the attendees make a donation. There is no minimum amount, but please give as much as you can. Nick has very kindly given his time in aid of this great cause, and many seminars generally go for £30, £40 or £50 a pop - sometimes more. So this is a fantastic opportunity for all you grapplers out there to get some invaluable advice from one of the best in the business.

For those of you who don't know of Nick and his accomplishments (and even all you clever-clogs who do), here is a little run down of his achievements so far.

Weight 66Kg - FeatherWeight
Height 1.81 m - 5’ 11”
Black Belt Under Roger Gracie

Blue Belt December 21st 2004
Purple Belt September 19th 2006
Brown belt September 19th 2007
Black belt October 31st 2009

Nick Brooks joined the Roger Gracie Academy on the day it opened on the 12th of Februrary 2004, and 7 months later fought his first BJJ competition at the Londinium International BJJ Championship. Nick won all his fights by submission to take the gold, and became hooked on competing.

Nick then went on to win the London Open BJJ Championship, this time in the featherweight division and again winning all his fights by submission.

Nick then travelled to Abu Dhabi, where he won his first 4 fights yet again all by submission before losing 3 - 2 to the eventual winner. Nick then won gold in the European Open BJJ Championship, and was also chosen to represent the UK national lightweight team. There he met Ebe from GB Milton Keynes and began to supplement his training with Braulio Estima and younger brother Victor.

Nick's game started to change into a more attacking style of guard. He won GOLD at the Gracie Invitational, submitting all but 1 of his opponents.

In the 2006 European open BJJ championsahip, Nick again won gold in the featherweight division, and then entered the open weight division where he beat the heavyweight gold and silver medalists by submission before losing to the super-heavyweight gold medalist and eventual winner, and again was chosen to repesent the UK National lightweight team.

Later that year, while training for the Gracie Invitational, Nick broke his finger so decided to switch from the gi event to the no-gi event. Despite being his first no-gi competiton, Nick found the transition quite easy, going on to win the Urban Gorrilaz Submission Wrestling tournament in the -66kg division, again beating all his opponents by submission, winning the final in a very quick 33 seconds.

Nick then travelled to Brazil to fight the World Masters & Seniors where he again won gold, submitting all but 1 opponent. There he began training with Master Ricardo De la Riva, with whom 1 month of intensive training really changed his defensive strategy and began to fine tune his guard game.

In 2007, Nick again (yes, yet again) won gold at the European Open BJJ Championships to make it 3 years in a row, and then took gold in the Pan Americans, also reaching the quarter finals in the open weight category before losing to the eventual silver medalist by a single advantage.

Nick then fought the HGFC Submission Wrestling competition and won the -65kg Division before going to take 4th in the open weight division.

Nick then won his pool submitting all but 1 of his opponents in the Irish National Championships.

6 weeks after being promoted to Brown Belt, he travelled to LA to compete in the 1st World No-Gi Championships and fought well to place 3rd in the featherweight division and then went one better to place 2nd in the open weight (Absolute). Unfortunately in the process, Nick picked up a nasty elbow injury.

In 2008, he decided at the last minute to fight the Europeans, this time at the heavier weight of lightweight (due to the lack of trainng and injury). But he still did well to place 3rd in his division, and then went on to place 2nd in the open weight.

At the Gracie Invitational in May, Nick closed out the brown belt featherweight division with team mate Cesar Lima, before returning to Brazil to fight the World Masters. Once again, Nick returned to train with Master De la Riva, and with the guidance of Roger Gracie’s father Mauricio Gomes, went on to win gold.

At the beginning of 2009, Nick decided to again fight the Europeans at the heavier weight of lightweight and once more managed to win gold. Nick then represented the UK Black Belt LightWeight team where the UK Finished 3rd behind winners Brazil & Poland.

And that's just the story so far... Nick is heading off to Brazil in July for more fun and games, and we lucky people will have the opportunity to learn from him before he heads off to sunny Rio De Janeiro to once again cause physical discomfort to his fellow competitors. Yes, you are lucky.

All you need to do is show up at BKK Fighters at 7:30pm on the 24th June with your gi and whatever amount you can donate to my charity (where ALL PROCEEDS go to Cancer Research UK), and be prepared to learn from an incredibly accomplished jiu jitsu fighter and teacher.

Nick is a very approachable person in general, so if you have any questions about that reverse triangle you're struggling with, or the best way to pass the guard, or whatever jiu-jitsu-related  shenanigans are perplexing you, Nick is the man to help you. As for questions unrelated to jiu jitsu, I suggest you see a counsellor. Or share it with the class to make us feel superior. Or better yet, bottle it up until one day you explode in a rage and... sorry, I'm going off on a tangent.

The venue address is: BKK Fighters
                                 Hythe Quay
                                 Spurgeon Street
                                 Colchester
                                 Essex CO1 2NS

I personally cannot wait for this seminar, and I'm looking forward to seeing you all on the mats!

Cheers

The Fat Flamingo

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!

Nick Brooks just informed me that black belt Daivid 'Malandro' Onuma will also be giving his time for free and teaching with him at the seminar. Damn it, you folks are SOOO lucky - all this just for the price of a donation! You can't do much better than that ;)

David Onuma is a black belt under Ricardo Viera, 3 x European Champion (1 at purple belt and 2 at brown) and I'm thrilled to have him on board - as should you!

I'm really looking forward to seeing you all on the mats on 24th June!

The Fat Flamingo

A Change Of Identity...

Hi folks, after much 'umming' and 'ahhing' I've decided to put the name 'Flaminginho' to bed. It's WAY too confusing for the majority of people - all too many times have people struggled with the pronunciation - but no more! From here on out, we'll stick with the far simpler 'Fat Flamingo.' It's simpler, to the point and nowhere near as pretentious. So there.

The new address is now http://fat-flamingo.blogspot.com/

Anyway, I have some more exciting news that I'll be announcing in the next couple of days, so watch this space for more info.

Ciao for now

Fat Flamingo

BKK Fighters, Part Of The Gracie Barra Essex Family

Power Balance Wristbands: The Real Deal Or A Successful Fraud?

Now, here's a little something that you clever readers may have come across recently. It's called the Power Balance band (although there are many generic versions of it out on the market too). Power Balance have claimed that "wearing it helps improve balance, strength and flexibility" and "mimics Eastern philosophies" (whatever that means) - and encourages users to take their tests to prove it.

Athletes and celebrities across the world have been seen wearing them, including Shaquille O'Neal, David Beckham, Rashad Evans, Vitor Belfort and even Prince William's new squeeze 'Princess Kate.' Upon reading its manufacturer's description, which states that the band's hologram is embedded with frequencies which react with the body's energy field, I had my doubts as to the validity of Power Balance's extraordinary claims. That is until my neighbour and fellow BJJ practitioner Brian Speirs decided to bite the bullet and invest in what on face value is just another fad.

He invited me to take a little test to prove how effective it really is. He asked that I hold my mobile phone in my right hand, then  make a circle by connecting the tips of my index finger and thumb on my left hand, and he would then use his index fingers to pry them apart. Incredibly, my Paddy digits were no match his feminine touch, and he broke my 'finger-ring' with ease. By proving how weak I was, Brian said now was the time for him to reveal the 'magic.'

He handed over the device in question, and asked that I repeat the same steps as before but whilst also holding the power band in my right hand. This time, Brian wasn't so successful in his display of finger-tugging prowess. My finger-circle remained intact - VICTORY! And score 1-0 to Power Balance.

Next on the agenda was a twisting exercise. I was asked to stand up straight, hold my right arm straight out in from of me, then twist around as far as I could possible go. Brian told me to hold that position, then he handed me the power band. As he predicted, I was able to twist around even further upon taking hold of it.
Score 2-0 to Power Balance.

However, I'm a very sceptical person in general, and despite being very impressed with the hologram's apparent mystical powers, I still wasn't convinced. It seemed that the most probable explanation was the placebo effect. But the experiment certainly compelled me to investigate further...

I eventually came across an interesting video regarding this intriguing little gizmo, screened on The Early Show on CBS in the United States (click here to watch), giving a better explanation than I ever could as to its apparent effects.

The video shows that the vital part of all these 'experiments' to convince wearers of the power bands that they work,  is that the participant must first try the task without the band. This allows them to have a target in mind that their subconscious will aim to beat the second time around. The second and improved results of the participants in the independent experiment was also seen in the control group given the cheap $1 bands, which of course do not purport to improve physical performance.

What surprised me was that despite being proved as spurious, the subjects still wanted the to wear the power bands after The Early Show's investigation. I think what we have here is more a case of a fashion trend that has taken hold, rather than a convincing performance enhancing concept.

I have a feeling we will be seeing a lot more of these in the media in the months to come, but if I see you on the mats wearing one, please be prepared for an ungodly volley of abuse and piss-taking from yours truly. Unless you tap me out. In which case, they must obviously work...


I love you all like my children, ladies and gentlemen (in a sarcastic, abstract way), so take care of yourselves and I'll speak to you lovely people soon

The Fat Flamingo

What Is This Jiu Jitsu Nonsense, Anyway?

As I write this post at my PC, I am feeling especially sweat-soaked and greasy after another fantastic Brazilian jiu jitsu class with the inimitable Lee Catling, a (high level) Braulio Estima brown belt and founder of Gracie Barra Essex. Only this time, the class was at Colchester's BKK Fighters rather than Rayleigh's Ministry of Martial Arts, where Lee is based.

Lee has been running classes down at BKK every Friday for the past few months now (whereas Tuesday evenings are taught by Braulio Estima purple belt Steve Wright), and has attracted more students as the weeks have passed by and improved everyone's game (mine included) ten fold.

The general focus of BKK Fighters tends to be Muay Thai and MMA, but that is changing, because the 'thinking man's combat sport' is drawing the interest of this club's eclectic group of members. Not to say that the BJJ class is stealing students from the strikers at BKK, but it is obviously intriguing enough to catch their interest and give them a chance to complete their overall fighting game.

I describe 'the gentle art' as the 'thinking man's combat sport,' because there is a certain amount of complexity in this martial art that the striking arts just don't have. Don't get me wrong - I have a HUGE appreciation for Muay Thai, boxing and the like - the thrill of a seeing or throwing a punch that connects 'just right' is hard to top, whether spectating, or if you're fortunate enough, the 'offending' participant. Mike Tyson, Mohamed Ali, Roberto Duran, Manny Pacquiao and many more besides showed how sweet the 'sweet science' could be.

But the striking arts have a limited number of techniques and combinations. In boxing, you have your straights, crosses, hooks and uppercuts, your rolls and footwork, orthodox stance and southpaw, and variations of those. But that's about the extent of a boxer's vocabulary. This is in no way an insult to those that follow and participate in boxing - I LOVE boxing and grew up watching the likes of Barry McGuigan, Nigel Benn and Chris Eubank (and many more) entertaining the masses with their extraordinary talent on ITV's Big Fight Live. And despite the limited number of strikes and parries, the years of work that go into improving the technique to the level of the aforementioned athletes is truly inspirational, and unlikely to be achieved by us 'mere mortals.'

But with BJJ, a fighter's vocabulary is almost endless. You can work from the closed guard, open guard, half guard, spider guard, the mount, the back, butterfly guard, x guard, De la Riva guard... You can go for arm bars, oma platas, gogo platas, americanas, kimuras, triangles, reverse triangles, triangles from the mount, wrist locks, leg locks, heel hooks... You can pull off flower sweeps, up n' overs, scissor sweeps, De la Riva sweeps, helicopter sweeps... And then you have all the variations and transitions as well. And beyond all this, the sport is still evolving, EVERY DAY. And that's just without the gi. Rolling in the traditional Japanese pyjamas is a whole new world as well...

On the way home from class, I was discussing with a friend who generally trains in MMA, but whom tonight finally wore a gi kimono,  the difference between gi and no-gi grappling. Being someone who fight's in the cage, this gentleman had focused purely on grappling without a kimono, precipitated I'm sure by the obvious absence of upper body clothing in MMA. Why train with a gi when you'll never wear one in the cage?

I used the analogy of the games of chess and checkers. No-gi would be akin to playing checkers: as board games go, it's fast and fun (okay, maybe Hungry Hippos would be a better example). But grappling with the gi is comparatively like chess: the game is far longer and more complex, with more playing pieces and moves at your disposal. And in my humble opinion, a far more cerebral way to fight.

No-gi is fast and fluid, but rolling in the gi provides the participants with more 'handles' to take a grip on, lapels one can use to wrap up your opponent's arms, and a collar to CHOKE THE SHIT OUT OF THEM! The gi opens up a whole new world to a grappler or 'cage fighter.' Lee Catling himself put it very succinctly during the class: "Saying a gi is of no use to a fighter is like saying a punchbag is of no use to a boxer."

The gi is an optional extra in jiu jitsu, but it's a luxury I wouldn't want to live without.


For a full timetable of classes, please visit BKK Fighter's website at http://www.bkkfighters.com/ and Ministry of Martial Art's site at http://www.ministryofmartialarts.com/index.php

The Fat Flamingo

Braulio Estima Americana Innovator!

In the space of a few weeks, Carcará himself Braulio Estima graced the boys (and lady) at Ministry of Martial Arts with his godly presence once more, for another seminar that allowed us mere mortals to walk away with a tighter jiu jitsu game.

When it comes to Braulio, at the expense of sounding starstruck and particularly nerdy, I can't say enough good things about the man. An exceptionally well-accomplished BJJ fighter with and without the gi, he is also a fantastic teacher and a seriously down to earth fella. I have assured 'Mrs Flaminginho' that as soon as we win the Euro Millions Lottery, we will be housing and employing Mr Estima full-time in our newly purchased castle. But until then, I'll stick to attending his seminars (and possibly even share a few snippets of his genius with you.)

Much like his last seminar with us, Braulio focused on one particular technique, in this case: the Americana. His intention was not only to show us a variant of this, but to cover details to tighten it up, and allow us to walk away from the class having digested particular concepts that we could incorporate into other similar techniques.

Calling forth our usual instructor Lee Catling to act as his grappling dummy, Braulio began in side control, high on the body and to Lee's left side, with his (Braulio's) left arm under Lee's (impressive) head and his other arm over Lee's body. You can of course reverse all these instructions if you're on the other side of your partner's body. But you knew this already, didn't you, clever clogs?

Now here's the clever part: when Lee (or your opponent) starts pushing away at your head to create space, you should hold said arm down tight to his body and in place with YOUR NECK. Yup, use your your chin/jaw to squeeze his forearm against your own neck and tight to his body. This is to free up (in this case) your right hand to pull your opponent's left lapel out from his belt. Then wrap this around his offending arm, passing it to the other hand which you should have fed under your opponent's head when taking side control. Then slide your right hand  under his trapped arm (or 'chicken wing'), to reach the lapel that you are holding in your left hand. Tighten your grip on this by feeding your lapel from hand to hand, almost like climbing a rope. This will effectively disable that arm and give you a little breathing space to think, which will GREATLY improve your game.

The options you have from this point are numerous: you can go straight to the Americana; go for wrist locks; if he/she bridges, then go for the mount while they are in a vulnerable position, and many more besides. This description can't really do this justice, a video or series of diagrams would be ideal. Unfortunately, I'm far too incompetent to provide you with such luxuries, so all I can suggest is that you check out Braulio's fantastic instructional DVDs, or better yet, go to one of his seminars - you'll thank yourself. For more info, contact him here.

After Braulio had demonstrated the various techniques and we drilled them with our partners, we got a chance to practice them in a more realistic context through specific sparring. While we practised, Braulio got in the cage for a roll with our talented brown belts - not something one gets to do everyday, eh?

Anywho, consider this another morsel of my limited knowledge. I'm new to this blogging malarky, and I realise that I really need to invest more time in recording some video footage for you lovely people to really grasp the techniques I describe. I'll sort this out ASAP, so in the meantime, please tolerate my poor grammar, lengthy sentences and 'unique' humour. I assure you the quality of these posts can only improve. No, really. They can hardly get any worse...

In the meantime, até logo e muito obrigado

The Fat Flamingo

'Clinton Combats Cancer For Cash' Goes International!

Just a quick update on Clinton Combats Cancer For Cash in aid of Cancer Research UK. Here is the article that Irish newspaper the Inish Times did on the event (with a little background on my link with the area). Enjoy!

'Stag' Jiu Jitsu

Last Saturday was a particularly 'special' one. From my point of view, at least. I got married to the now Mrs Flaminginho (for the benefit of any confused readers, it's pronounced 'flamming-inyo,' Portuguese for 'Little Flamingo.' Pretty intimidating, eh?) on the following Monday, but at a small stag-do/bachelor party was how I spent the Saturday, rolling with my jiu jitsu buddies.

Once again training at the fantastic Ministry of Martial Arts with our instructor (Braulio Estima brown belt) Lee Catling, we covered the half guard, or more specifically, submitting your opponent whilst in his half guard.

Generally, when I find myself in someone's half guard, I immediately look to escape. But Lee explained to us that rather than just focusing on trying to gain a more dominant position, we could also get a variety of submissions from what on first impressions may be a less than fortunate situation.

Demonstrating on his 'uke,' Lee first showed the class that flattening out your opponent was first on the agenda. Your opponent will generally try to get an underhook on the same side as the leg they are trapping, whilst also posting up onto their elbow. Flatten out by pulling on said elbow, and then with your head against their opposite shoulder, push them down and stay 'heavy' on them now that they are flat on their back. Take care not to be to high on their body when pushing them down with your head, or you're liable to get rolled over and end up with them on top of you. We practised this basic technique several times with our partners to get used to the movement before taking things further.

Once Lee was confident that us students had that technique down, we tried a little something else. This time, rather than flattening out our partner, we were to get a 'whizzer' before they got a deep underhook. We would then grab hold of our opponent's opposite lapel with our 'whizzing' hand, so to speak, then with our other hand, grab the material high on the other side of his/her neck and take a cross choke.

After this, Lee showed us what to do should your opponent mange to get their trapped arm out of the whizzer. Drag the arm over, grab them close and flatten them out to trap said arm, and take a gable grip behind their head and squeeze tight for a shoulder crush. Lovely.

Another option is to feed the arm you used for the whizzer under his/her head, and your other hand over their head to take a gable grip and apply a d'Arce choke. Another variant of this would be to do it as a kind of arm triangle/Brabo choke. Yummy.

After this, Lee showed us what to do should your opponent have a deep half guard and is sat up high. Pull his/her gi loose on the same side as your trapped leg and feed it to your opposite hand behind his/her back and over his/her opposite shoulder whilst posting out wide with your free leg. Quickly take the hand that pulled loose the gi originally, feed it between your bodies with the PALM FACING UP and grab the loosened gi from the other hand. With that hand now free, grab the material of the wrapped lapel on the opposite side of his neck and bring your elbow down for the choke. DO NOT flatten him out! That way you can use your bodyweight/gravity you make the choke a lot tighter and with little effort. Make sure your partner still on his/her side, people!

There was another variation after this that Lee demonstrated, but I can't for the life of me remember what it is. I know, I'm such an exceptional blogger. But for any folks reading this that were present for the class, or are so spectacularly clever that they have other suggestions as to how else one might choke the granny out of one's enemy (yes, that word again [see last blog post]) from this position, then I'm all ears. Speaking of which, my ears are pretty swollen...


Anyway, until next time, have fun rolling and I hope to see you on the mats soon.

The Fat Flamingo

Grappling With 'Man Flu'

Hello once more, ladies and gentlemen. Flaminginho here, reporting from JiuJitsuLand with rather clogged sinuses, glazed eyes and a soupçon of self pity. I have what many would call 'man flu,' but as far as I'm concerned, a bloody awful cold. But the point of today's post isn't to solicit sympathy, but to ask your thoughts on what you would consider proper etiquette when training BJJ when feeling sick, or more specifically, with a contagious viral disease.

I started feeling rather under the weather as of Saturday last week, with the symptoms getting gradually worse over the proceeding days, precluding me from training Judo on Monday, BJJ on Tuesday, and then judo again on Wednesday. To say that I was 'jonesing' for jiu jitsu by Thursday would be a massive understatement. So, as any addict in his 'right' mind would, I convinced myself through selfish denial I was well enough to go to training at Ministry of Martial Arts in Rayleigh.

Turning up to Lee Catling's class with a fresh packet of Halls Extra Strong Mentho-lyptus lozenges (already half-consumed) and a gut-full of Lemsip*, I knuckled down for some serious grappling.

The first half of the lesson was aimed at beginners, and after a light warm-up, the order of the day was focused on techniques from the closed guard. Lee and his uke (accomplished brown belt) Tom Wilson demonstrated the basic armbar, with a focus on an easily forgotten detail: ensuring a proper arm-drag before breaking your opponent's posture. With the target arm pulled across your opponent's body, use your legs as well as your arms to break him down and pull him close, ensuring you control the head. Something all beginner's should know, but many times forgotten in the heat of 'battle' against an unwilling 'participant.' We then continued by quickly opening our guard to place one leg on the opponent's hip to push and swivel to the side, bringing our leg opposite the target arm high across his back, and then re-closing our guard into a diamond/high guard. The proof that this is done effectively is by kindly asking your uncomfortable partner to try removing his/her trapped target arm, whilst waving your own arms smugly in a 'Look, no hands' manner. If your offended partner can't pull out his/her arm, you've done it correctly. Well done you. We then went on to complete the armbar, which I don't think I need to explain to you genius people out there. Or if you don't fall into that category, then YouTube that shit, dummy! Not really, I love you too, you dribbling buffoon, you. xx

For the next technique, we went for the same posture-breaking shenanigans, but then going for a 'flower sweep,' with a hand fed through your partner's legs and wrapped round the back of the thigh close to the knee, as opposed to grabbing his pants. Done correctly, you should achieve the mount with your opponent's arm still trapped between your bodies. My training partner William Wayland showed me an awesome choke from this advantageous position, which is not only effective, but could prove humiliating to your opponent as you choke him with his own arm. Which is what jiu jitsu is all about, right? Anyway... it involves wrapping your arm around the back of your enemy's head (please think of your partner as your 'enemy' whilst doing this, if only to make ME smile) ensuring you keep your weight on his trapped arm. Make sure you use your left arm if his right arm is trapped, and vice versa. With your arm now wrapped around the back of said head (ooh, that rhymes), grab his wrist, pulling his own arm across his neck. Now feed your other hand through this tight 'loop' also across his neck and grab your own forearm. Pull his wrist and apply pressure with your other forearm... and watch with gleeful satisfaction as your 'enemy's' head swells with trapped de-oxygenated blood and his eyes bulge pleadingly for mercy. Which, again, is what jiu jitsu is all about.

Lee then showed us a couple of arm locks following once more the aforementioned arm-drag and posture-breaking. Once posture is broken, you grab round your partner's head with one arm, but the with the other arm you should get an underhook, ensuring your upper arm is between his trapped arm and opposite armpit. With this underhooked arm, you should be able to pull it closer towards your own ribs, locking out his trapped arm against your body and to his great discomfort. If he should somehow manage to pull this arm out, remember you still have his other arm to attack. Put your foot on his hip, push to swivel and bring your other leg high across his back to keep his posture down, whip the foot that was on his hip across the back of his head to trap his remaining arm, then with your hands lock his elbow out against your shoulder. This works even if he doesn't pull his first arm out, and is especially satisfying as both of your enemy's hands (yes, I'm sticking with 'enemy') are trapped and he can't tap, forcing him to shout "Stop!" "Mercy!" or "I beg clemency, master!" much to you and your classmates' delight.

For the final technique, Lee demonstrated a scissor sweep (which you should all know by now, children), again following that arm drag, and finishing in the mount with your enemy's arm still trapped. You can follow this with an armbar, triangle, or move to side control with a possible adjustment to the trapped arm (if necessary) to a shoulder crush. Or whatever comes easiest to you, clever cloggs.

At this point, some of the students left for home while we had a brief break in preparation for the second half of the class: sparring. I took this opportunity to blow out the unwelcome mucus clogging up my conk (no, that isn't a typo, potty brain) and suck on another lozenge. I noticed a few enquiring eyes looking my way as I loudly blew my nose, and hoped I looked more like a hay fever sufferer (which I am) rather than one of 'the infected.' Gathering my strength, I hit the mats and started with what was supposed to be a gentle, non-resistance roll with a younger and very 'enthusiastic' member of the class.

After fives minutes, Lee called "Time!" for a quick water break, then another roll. This time, it was to be a bit more rigorous. I then rolled with super-heavyweight William, which was a bit more of a challenge. I could feel my energy beginning to sap, and I began to question whether coming to class with a cold was one of my better ideas. Before I knew it, Lee called time again and we were to switch partners again. Two partners later, and I decided to bow out, coughing and dribbling at the sidelines to watch the rest of the prospective recipients of my bug continue rolling and choking each other.

At the end of class, Lee once more drilled into us the importance of not going too hard at it when sparring. The purpose behind sparring is not about winning, but about learning. All too often, students end up getting injured because of they or their partner's ego getting the better of them and insisting on getting that triangle or insisting on not tapping (at least not in time), purely out of sheer obstinance. And injury means time off the mats, which means no jiu jitsu.

I thanked Lee for the class and assured him I would be at the upcoming Braulio Estima seminar, and said my goodbyes, feeling much the worse for wear, and a little guilty that I may have infected the rest of the class with my 'lurgies.' Which, after that rather lo-o-o-o-ong tangent, brings us back to the initial subject: Should students still go to class with a cold?

A rundown of the common cold can be found here, but in brief they are a pain in the arse and highly infectious. But are we being a little 'soft' in our reaction to it? Should a cold disrupt our training, or should we just get on with it and 'sweat it out'? If a student should attend BJJ class, should we tell him/her to sling his/her hook, avoid him/her at all costs, or should we stop being 'soft' and grapple nonetheless?

I personally think what I did last night was in all honesty selfish, because I couldn't bear to miss out on any more training. I think karma has dealt me a punishment today to bring my yin and yang into balance again (or whatever mystical reference is apt), because I feel bloody awful and wish I never went at all. But I'm curious as to your thoughts...

Don't forget to check out my charity page for Cancer Research UK at the South East BJJ Open, details of which are also on Facebook.


Anywho, ciao for now, and hope to see you on the mats soon.

The Fat Flamingo
*Disclaimer: I am in no way sponsored by or endorse these companies. I wish.

Clinton Combats Cancer For Cash

I will be competing at the South East Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Open on the 2nd October, and of course hope to destroy the competition. Or at least cause them mild discomfort. But rather than just put on an extraordinary display of jiu jitsu expertise (no, really), I also hope to promote awareness of cancer, and also raise some money for Cancer Research UK, the world's largest independent cancer research charity. Every one of us has been affected by cancer in one way or another, be it a friend or relative who has suffered through the disease, or those of us unlucky enough have had it ourselves. Recently, my partner's stepfather sadly died of cancer after a valiant and determined fight. Last year, my mother's boyfriend lost his battle with cancer, and before that I have lost two uncles to that terrible disease. BJJ star Braulio Estima also lost one of his finest students, Steve Fan, who sadly passed away earlier this year. This prompted Braulio to compete in the 2011 European Open, and despite needing surgery to his neck after a freak training accident, he went on to win the Open and dedicate his victory to Steve. All this, not to mention all my friends and family out there that are going through hardship even as I write this, has inspired me to do something, albeit small, to contribute to combatting this awful destroyer of lives. So I'll be competing in a hot pink gi (or 'uniform,' for all you muggles out there) and sporting a matching mohawk to grab as much attention as I can. I look a prat at the best of times, but come October 2nd, I will be looking especially prat-tastic. So please, PLEASE, donate some cash towards a very worthy cause, even if it's just to see me get beat up whilst looking like a fat flamingo. Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving – they’ll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they’ll send your money directly to the charity and make sure Gift Aid is reclaimed on every eligible donation by a UK taxpayer. So it’s the most efficient way to donate - I raise more, whilst saving time and cutting costs for the charity. So please dig deep and donate now via the links below: http://www.justgiving.com/clintonoshea http://www.facebook.com/clintonoshea?sk=wall#!/pages/Clinton-Combats-Cancer-For-Cash/157747550953912 http://www.graciebarraessex.co.uk/southeastbjjopen/