Clinton Combats Cancer For Cash at the South East BJJ Open

The Fat Flamingo finally got his feathers ruffled at the South East BJJ Open in aid of Cancer Research UK

At last, the day finally came for me to live up to my promise and fight in a pink gi, sport a matching resplendent 'plumage' and smash the competition. The result? Well... two out of three ain't so bad...

It was back in April just before the British BJJ Open that a distinctly less fat 'Flamingo' concocted this little plot to raise money for charity. I was at Lee Catling's BJJ class at BKK Fighters Gym in Colchester, and we were sat in a circle puffing and panting after some specific sparring. As he usually does at this point of the lesson, Lee invited questions from the students. Being the random and impulsive chap that I am, I asked the non sequitur "What's the rules on a bloke wearing a pink gi in competition?" After some nervous laughter, he made it plain that it's a definite no-no, but if it was in aid of charity, maybe Braulio Estima (who organises the British BJJ Open) would let me wear it. It was only a week before the British Open, so there was far too little notice to promote it at that point, but it certainly got the wheels turning in my head...

And so, the Fat Flamingo was born. Why a flamingo? Well, because they're pink, dummy. And why a FAT flamingo? I think that's pretty self-explanatory... But of course, the question remains, why the colour pink?

Pink is the colour usually associated with cancer charities (especially breast cancer charities) and sadly many in my family have been afflicted with this horrific disease over the years. I have lost two uncles to cancer, a close friend of my mother died of throat cancer last year, my father-in-law died of cancer in February, and now my uncle Jack and aunt Lily (my mother's brother and sister) are courageously fighting this disease these past few months. It has had an enormous effect on my family, and I know that they are only one of many that are suffering at the hands of one of humanity's biggest killers.

And so I felt Cancer Research UK to be the most appropriate charity for whom to raise money. And over these past few months, with so many having contributed so generously, we surpassed my initial target of raising £500, and at my last count we have raised £575. I'm thrilled to bits and incredibly grateful, and truly proud of all the family and friends inside and outside of the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu community (and those of you I haven't even met!) who contributed. Thank you all.

All that remained to be done was for this dumpy little chap to hit the mats in Rayleigh last weekend and smash the competition. Unfortunately, things didn't quite pan out that way...

I'm a very different beast today than I was when I first formulated the idea to literally fight for cancer research, 'beast' being the operative word. What with a sudden increase in work commitments and therefore a lack of spare time, my training regimen suffered, as did my bathroom scales. My weight ballooned from a respectable 80kg (in my gi, I might add) to a flab-tastic NINETY-FOUR KILOGRAMS in the space of 6 months. All in all, I think that alone is an impressive performance. But such an expansion in girth doesn't make for an efficient athlete. It just makes for an undersized competitor, fighting monsters of muscle WAY bigger than he. So when it came to registering for this competition, I had the 'opportunity' of fighting at HEAVYWEIGHT.

And so, as I stepped on the mats for my first fight and stared into the eyes of my opponent, I suddenly felt very small. This gentlemen seemed twice as big as the guys in my normal weight category, and also represented team Carlson Gracie, known for their aggression on the tatami.

The referee called "Fight!" and we locked horns. And for pretty much the next 5 minutes, I felt like I was surviving rather than competing. We took our grips on each other's gis, and swung each other around the mats hoping for a takedown. It was clear this chap was a lot stronger than me, so I decided to pull guard and get a 50/50. BIG mistake. The last thing one needs in this kind of match is a guy that big on top of them. From this point, I spent the next four and a half minutes protecting my arms, guarding my my neck, and vowing never to fight at heavyweight again, all whilst my internal dialogue screamed "DO NOT GET SUBMITTED! DON'T YOU DARE TAP!"

Mercifully, the ref called time and calm was restored, with my opponent's arm raised and my delusions of possible triumph shattered.

Upon leaving the mats, my corner man William Wayland gave me an accurate summation of this epic battle: "That wasn't very good, was it?"

I had no sooner caught my breath, when one of the officials informed me I was about to fight again. Only this time, my opponent was even bigger.

It would be inaccurate to say we stood eye-to-eye before our fight, as this kiwi chap was about 6'3" (whereas I am a humble 5'9"), but he seemed genial enough for a man about to try and rip my head from my shoulders. We slapped hands and took our grips. Once again, two competitors swung each other around the mats, looking to trip the other and land on top in a dominant position. And once again, I pulled guard, hoping to gain the advantage. But this clearly wasn't my day and I once more had a giant on top of me.

He was going for cross-collar chokes like nobody's business once he had the mount, but somehow I ended up on top in his guard and endeavoured to make him as uncomfortable as I could. This clearly prompted him to fight to get my back and attempt a rear naked choke. Which he fought for until the end of the match. All I can recall is referee Lee Catling's concerned face as he looked prepared to stop the fight, but thankfully I've had more uncomfortable razor-burn than this RNC and made sure to keep giving Lee the thumbs-up in case he thought I was going to pass out. I held on until the end, and time was called.

Leaving the mats feeling somewhat dejected and disappointed, I also felt more motivated than I had in a long, long time. From that point onwards, I have been looking to the future and to the other tournaments to come. I know I'm better than that performance, I have great teammates and coaches and now I have a greater desire to perform to my utmost in competition. Onwards and upwards!

All in all, it was a great day. Lee Catling did a spectacular job organising the event and I look forward to the next one. My teammates William Wayland, Brian Speirs and Tim Clifton, despite not medalling, put on a great show for the spectators and should be proud of themselves. And it was nice to see the Mill Hill boys there and their competitors do so well.

After the finals of the individual belt and weight categories had been brought to their exciting conclusion, the competitors were invited to partake in the 'Absolutes,' an invitation I declined. My six year old son was puzzled by my sudden lack of enthusiasm, and said "Are you not doing it because you don't want to get beat up again?" Even with barely half a dozen years to his life, that boy is sharp as a tack...

Speak soon, folks...

Fat Flamingo

My Own Little Commentary...

Today's post is a little off topic - in fact it's FAR removed from the usual subject matter of this blog. But I felt compelled to write something about the events of the past crazy few days here in the UK.

Speaking from the point of view of a builder, in the past 10 years I have become friends with a lot of Eastern and Central European economic migrants. Many of them came from war torn countries with not a penny to their name when they arrived on British shores. These same people have worked incredibly hard over the years on construction sites in the pouring rain and driving snow and working insanely long hours, and they have managed to pay for their own homes and cars and are living a life they would have never attained in Albania, Kosovo, Romania, Ukraine etc. Yes, times are hard at the moment, but it is still a land of great opportunity, which is why people still travel from all over Europe, Asia, Africa et al to make make a better life for themselves. And they achieve it too.

But these rioters are HOMEGROWN 'talent.' They have failed to make the grade and blame the government, or an antagonistic society, or an overbearing police force. I just find it very hard to sympathise with these people, when so many others from developing countries have managed to do so well. There is a sizable percentage of Britons born and raised here who have been brought-up from infancy with ready-made excuses for their shortcomings, as opposed to encouragement and the reality that it is within their power to improve their lot in this life. In the latter, the government has absolutely failed. But there's a cycle of poor parenting that will perpetuate this outlook too. But none of the above justifies any of this mayhem.

Summary: There needs to be a major cultural upheaval, ideologies need to adapt. But riots won't help this, they will just re-enforce the fact that our society is broken. And said re-enforcement in this context is about as effective as giving the wrong answer to a question, but in capital letters - the answer is still wrong.

Fat Flamingo

The Downside of Reality...

Just a quick post for all you beautiful mo fos out there to let you know I'm still alive.

Well, it's been about six weeks since I last regaled you with stories of jiu jitsu passion and prowess, but unfortunately my alternate identity has taken precedence over my Fat Flamingo alter ego. I've been working extraordinarily long hours (leaving the house at 5am and not getting home until 8pm), so not only has this blog suffered, but my training has been non-existent and my health has deteriorated, ie. I'm a fat fucker (no news there).

Also, I've been trying to convince the local university to accept me for a degree course (I know, they'd be mad to deny me admittance), so I've been using any little spare time I've had to swot up on my maths for an informal test, just so they might ascertain how dumb this young upstart actually is. Turns out, I'm less dumb than we all thought.

So now that the sob story and excuses are out of the way, I have EIGHT WEEKS to lose TEN KILOS (I fight at 82.3kg/middleweight) and get passably skilled at BJJ again, all in time for the South East BJJ Open in Rayleigh, Essex on 2nd October. And my main motivation is that I'm competing in aid of Cancer Research UK through my own little charity Clinton Combats Cancer For Cash, where donations can be made though my Just Giving page. All money donated is perfectly safe, can be paid through PayPal and goes entirely to charity.

But what do you get out of this little transaction? Well, besides doing something AWESOME that will help progress cancer research, you'll also get to see me fight in a hot pink gi and matching pink mohawk. And you can quite possibly relish in the satisfaction of watching me get my arse handed to be by more accomplished and talented jiu jitsu practitioners. Or I might surprise everyone and do pretty well. Well, stranger things have happened...

Anyway, until next time, biatches

Fat Flamingo

Nick Brooks and David Onuma Throw Down at BKK Fighters for Clinton Combats Cancer For Cash

As I write this, I'm sat at the PC on a Friday night with my sweat soaked t shirt stuck to my exhausted body, and I feel GREAT. I'm not long home from the Nick Brooks and David Onuma seminar at BKK Fighters in Colchester, Essex,  in aid of Clinton Combats Cancer For Cash and Cancer Research UK I'm very pleased to say that we managed to raise £180, and everyone walked away from this special class with a massive grin after grappling with two very awesome teachers (and a very talented brown belt in Chris Hearn!)

The techniques demonstrated were pretty much whatever we wanted to learn. Nick asked the class if there was anything in particular we wanted to work on, so after one of the group volunteered half guard escapes, that's exactly what Nick showed us.

I won't go into great detail as to the escapes, as written word doesn't adequately convey the intricacies of the techniques and may even lead to confusion, but rest assured, they were all effective. One day I'll sort out a video camera to film some techniques for this blog, so until then, please be patient with me. Aww, thanks for being so understanding - mwah! xx

Anyway... The gist of what Nick demonstrated was basically the use of misdirection, much like a Las Vegas illusionist (he is a wizard on the mats, after all.)  Whilst on top in one's opponent's half guard (yes, I used the pronoun 'one,' as one should in these blogs), the trick is to apply a cross choke so that one's partner panics and concentrates on defending the choke. During which time, you, my sneaky friend, will be snaking your trapped leg out of their guard to pass and take the mount, the side, or whatever takes your fancy and as the specific situation allows. Yes, both simple AND clever. I won't go into the specifics, you can google that shit (so to speak), but it is the concept of misdirection that is important.

Nick then handed the class over to David, who also asked the class what troubled us on the mats. This time, the super-human William Wayland queried how one (I'm really getting self-conscious about using that word) might go on to finish one's (bloody hell...) opponent after taking side control. David, being the generous and talented man that he is, imparted a nifty little trick that not only restricts your opponent's movement, but can make them very uncomfortable as well. It involves using the arm that is wrapped under your partner's head grabbing the material of their gi in the armpit/latissimus dorsi area, pulling on it tightly as digging your shoulder of that same arm into their neck. And hard. I guarantee that if they don't tap (which is possible), they certainly won't like it in the slightest. Then, with your free hand and whilst keeping your weight on them heavy, start pulling out the lapel of their gi on the same side of the armpit your grabbing, then pass this under said armpit to your other hand. then pull tight on this, so as to effectively restrict their movement and help prevent their going for an underhook to escape. The important thing here is to take your time when freeing their lapel before passing it to your other hand. You want to make sure there is now slack WHATSOEVER. In fact, it's so important that I felt compelled to CAPITALIZE  the last word in that sentence.

Now, when you have pulled tight on that lapel, pull HARD and up onto your thigh (damn, some photos would really help here). From this point, David showed us two submissions we could go for: a kind of clock choke, and an armbar. And boy, do they work. But in the interest of time (ie. 1. I have no photos, 2. you know you have too short an attention span to read paragraphs of explanations, and 3. I'm just too lazy), I shall leave it to the reader's discretion whether they should contact David Onuma himself for a private lesson on these specific techniques.

After this, Nick left it too us whether we wanted to learn some more techniques or if we would rather spar. The decision was unanimous: "LET'S ROLL!"

Nick graciously had a roll with me, which was a great experience. It's always a pleasure to grapple with someone of his calibre, because you know that what your opponent is doing is pure jiu jitsu and not brute strength. And being that Nick is so tall and thin, he has to rely on extremely tight technique so as to beat larger opponents. He was very generous with his advice the first time he tapped me, explaining that I was far too tense and so would be less receptive to his (or any other opponent's) movement. The second time we rolled, I made a concerted effort to relax (which in itself is a contradiction, ie. relax/effort), but we did notice a marked improvement upon the previous bout.

We all swapped partners a few times until time was getting on and we called it a night. We huddled together for a group photo and gave Nick and David a well deserved applause for a great seminar.

After getting changed, I counted up the donations for the night and I'm happy to say we raised £180, taking the current total of Clinton Combats Cancer For Cash to £520, surpassing my initial target of £500! I'm thrilled to bits, but there is still 4 months to go until I fight in my pink gi and matching mohawk at the South East BJJ Open in October, so I still hope to raise loads more between now and then.

So I'd like to say a massive thank you to Nick Brooks, David 'Malandro' Onuma, Chris Hearn, BKK Fighters, and of course to everyone that came and donated. I'm pleased as punch, and strongly recommend that you check out Nick classes at the Mill Hill BJJ Academy, and David classes, a timetable of which can be found at http://combinedfightingsystems.blogspot.com/.

If you do go to one of their classes, or even see them on the street, please buy them a bottle (or more) of Desperados. Damn it, they deserve it.

Ciao for now

Fat Flamingo

UPDATE TO NICK BROOKS SEMINAR ON 24TH JUNE IN AID OF CLINTON COMBATS CANCER FOR CASH!!!!

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!

Nick Brooks just informed me that black belt David 'Malandro' Onuma will ALSO be giving his time for free and teaching with him at the seminar. Damn it, you folks are SOOO lucky - all this just for the price of a donation! You can't do much better than that ;)

David Onuma is a black belt under Ricardo Viera, 3 x European Champion (1 at purple belt and 2 at brown) and I'm thrilled to have him on board - as should you!

I'm really looking forward to seeing you all on the mats on 24th June!

The Fat Flamingo

NICK BROOKS SEMINAR ON 24TH JUNE IN AID OF CLINTON COMBATS CANCER FOR CASH!

Roger Gracie black belt and all-round awesome jedi-like person Nick Brooks will be doing a free (yes, FREE) Brazilian Jiu Jitsu seminar at BKK Fighters on Friday the 24th June at 7:30pm in aid of my charity, Clinton Combats Cancer For Cash. All we ask is that the attendees make a donation. There is no minimum amount, but please give as much as you can. Nick has very kindly given his time in aid of this great cause, and many seminars generally go for £30, £40 or £50 a pop - sometimes more. So this is a fantastic opportunity for all you grapplers out there to get some invaluable advice from one of the best in the business.

For those of you who don't know of Nick and his accomplishments (and even all you clever-clogs who do), here is a little run down of his achievements so far.

Weight 66Kg - FeatherWeight
Height 1.81 m - 5’ 11”
Black Belt Under Roger Gracie

Blue Belt December 21st 2004
Purple Belt September 19th 2006
Brown belt September 19th 2007
Black belt October 31st 2009

Nick Brooks joined the Roger Gracie Academy on the day it opened on the 12th of Februrary 2004, and 7 months later fought his first BJJ competition at the Londinium International BJJ Championship. Nick won all his fights by submission to take the gold, and became hooked on competing.

Nick then went on to win the London Open BJJ Championship, this time in the featherweight division and again winning all his fights by submission.

Nick then travelled to Abu Dhabi, where he won his first 4 fights yet again all by submission before losing 3 - 2 to the eventual winner. Nick then won gold in the European Open BJJ Championship, and was also chosen to represent the UK national lightweight team. There he met Ebe from GB Milton Keynes and began to supplement his training with Braulio Estima and younger brother Victor.

Nick's game started to change into a more attacking style of guard. He won GOLD at the Gracie Invitational, submitting all but 1 of his opponents.

In the 2006 European open BJJ championsahip, Nick again won gold in the featherweight division, and then entered the open weight division where he beat the heavyweight gold and silver medalists by submission before losing to the super-heavyweight gold medalist and eventual winner, and again was chosen to repesent the UK National lightweight team.

Later that year, while training for the Gracie Invitational, Nick broke his finger so decided to switch from the gi event to the no-gi event. Despite being his first no-gi competiton, Nick found the transition quite easy, going on to win the Urban Gorrilaz Submission Wrestling tournament in the -66kg division, again beating all his opponents by submission, winning the final in a very quick 33 seconds.

Nick then travelled to Brazil to fight the World Masters & Seniors where he again won gold, submitting all but 1 opponent. There he began training with Master Ricardo De la Riva, with whom 1 month of intensive training really changed his defensive strategy and began to fine tune his guard game.

In 2007, Nick again (yes, yet again) won gold at the European Open BJJ Championships to make it 3 years in a row, and then took gold in the Pan Americans, also reaching the quarter finals in the open weight category before losing to the eventual silver medalist by a single advantage.

Nick then fought the HGFC Submission Wrestling competition and won the -65kg Division before going to take 4th in the open weight division.

Nick then won his pool submitting all but 1 of his opponents in the Irish National Championships.

6 weeks after being promoted to Brown Belt, he travelled to LA to compete in the 1st World No-Gi Championships and fought well to place 3rd in the featherweight division and then went one better to place 2nd in the open weight (Absolute). Unfortunately in the process, Nick picked up a nasty elbow injury.

In 2008, he decided at the last minute to fight the Europeans, this time at the heavier weight of lightweight (due to the lack of trainng and injury). But he still did well to place 3rd in his division, and then went on to place 2nd in the open weight.

At the Gracie Invitational in May, Nick closed out the brown belt featherweight division with team mate Cesar Lima, before returning to Brazil to fight the World Masters. Once again, Nick returned to train with Master De la Riva, and with the guidance of Roger Gracie’s father Mauricio Gomes, went on to win gold.

At the beginning of 2009, Nick decided to again fight the Europeans at the heavier weight of lightweight and once more managed to win gold. Nick then represented the UK Black Belt LightWeight team where the UK Finished 3rd behind winners Brazil & Poland.

And that's just the story so far... Nick is heading off to Brazil in July for more fun and games, and we lucky people will have the opportunity to learn from him before he heads off to sunny Rio De Janeiro to once again cause physical discomfort to his fellow competitors. Yes, you are lucky.

All you need to do is show up at BKK Fighters at 7:30pm on the 24th June with your gi and whatever amount you can donate to my charity (where ALL PROCEEDS go to Cancer Research UK), and be prepared to learn from an incredibly accomplished jiu jitsu fighter and teacher.

Nick is a very approachable person in general, so if you have any questions about that reverse triangle you're struggling with, or the best way to pass the guard, or whatever jiu-jitsu-related  shenanigans are perplexing you, Nick is the man to help you. As for questions unrelated to jiu jitsu, I suggest you see a counsellor. Or share it with the class to make us feel superior. Or better yet, bottle it up until one day you explode in a rage and... sorry, I'm going off on a tangent.

The venue address is: BKK Fighters
                                 Hythe Quay
                                 Spurgeon Street
                                 Colchester
                                 Essex CO1 2NS

I personally cannot wait for this seminar, and I'm looking forward to seeing you all on the mats!

Cheers

The Fat Flamingo

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!

Nick Brooks just informed me that black belt Daivid 'Malandro' Onuma will also be giving his time for free and teaching with him at the seminar. Damn it, you folks are SOOO lucky - all this just for the price of a donation! You can't do much better than that ;)

David Onuma is a black belt under Ricardo Viera, 3 x European Champion (1 at purple belt and 2 at brown) and I'm thrilled to have him on board - as should you!

I'm really looking forward to seeing you all on the mats on 24th June!

The Fat Flamingo

A Change Of Identity...

Hi folks, after much 'umming' and 'ahhing' I've decided to put the name 'Flaminginho' to bed. It's WAY too confusing for the majority of people - all too many times have people struggled with the pronunciation - but no more! From here on out, we'll stick with the far simpler 'Fat Flamingo.' It's simpler, to the point and nowhere near as pretentious. So there.

The new address is now http://fat-flamingo.blogspot.com/

Anyway, I have some more exciting news that I'll be announcing in the next couple of days, so watch this space for more info.

Ciao for now

Fat Flamingo